Skin

I’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve gotten various compliments over the years about how confident I seem at times; either people are blind or I’m good at faking. It’s probably some kind of combination of the two.

Over the past year or so, I have grown into myself a bit. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone into things that push me into better circumstances. I’m some semblance of the person I want to be more days than not. But there’s still a constant storm under my skin.

I’ve spent years tearing at my skin thinking there was something wrong with me for not knowing what comfort feels like. I forced myself into routines because maybe repetition could stomp out the ache of uncomfortable. It only made things worse.

I’m in a constant loop of forgetting and remembering that discomfort isn’t such a bad thing. Comfort can lead to complacency; changes and challenges force us to grow.

Life hurts no matter what; it’s our choice as to whether a majority of that pain consists of growing pains or the pain from tearing at chains we’ve put on ourselves. At least with growing pains, we’re getting somewhere.

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