It's exhausting. The uncertainty, consistently elevated heart rate, feeling like you're drowning. The anxiety that's fully justified, but there's no fix for the root of the problem; it feels like it's never going to end. I'm a very anxious person. I have over a decade's worth of knots in my back and a catalog of … Continue reading The One About Fear
2020 Vision
Oh look, it's almost 20 days into 2020 and I'm finally writing my first blog of the year! So much for regular blogging... Whatever. It's my website. I do what I want. In the beginning of 2019, I outlined 3 goals on here: 1) write more, 2) put out more music, and 3) be a … Continue reading 2020 Vision
Skin
I've never felt comfortable in my own skin. I've gotten various compliments over the years about how confident I seem at times; either people are blind or I'm good at faking. It's probably some kind of combination of the two. Over the past year or so, I have grown into myself a bit. I've stepped … Continue reading Skin
On The Church
I grew up going to church. I bounced in and out of different christian homeschool groups from elementary school until halfway through high school. I belonged to multiple youth groups; I was even on the Conference Council on Youth Ministries for a couple of years. I know the church. The more I got to know … Continue reading On The Church
Writer’s Block
Day 11. I've successfully written something every day this year with relative ease. Until today. I could have just gone with another journal entry, but I didn't do anything worth writing about today. I wanted to blog anyway; I've had a flood of ideas running through my head for a while now. However, that flood … Continue reading Writer’s Block
Poetry and Madness
I am a writer of many notebooks. I have 2 1/2 books filled with memories of the past 7 years; countless more pages hold a haphazard collection of short stories, songs, and scenes of plays that will never be seen. One book in particular often sits forgotten among many others. Unlike the others, this one … Continue reading Poetry and Madness
On Getting Older
I hate my birthday. I'm not sure why, but sometime in my early teens, my childish excitement for leveling up in age turned into a somber remembrance for the years of life I've wasted. Maybe it's depression; maybe it's cynicism. Either way, it's a stupid way to look at it. You see, I have this … Continue reading On Getting Older
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